14 Apr 2020 15:22:12
I’m crossing my fingers this passes the censorship test. If it doesn’t, I give up.
A ventriloquist is performing with his dummy on his lap. He’s telling a dumb blonde joke when a young platinum haired beauty jumps to her feet.
‘ what gives you the right to stereotype blondes that way? ’, she demands ‘ what does my hair colour have to do with my worth as a human being? ’
Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to stammer out an apology.
‘ You keep out of this! ’, she yells, ‘I’m talking to that little jerk on your knee! ’.
14 Apr 2020 15:44:56
Yes, I like that Mark haha, don`t give up mate, I am glad you started a new thread up top things can get lost down the bottom.
14 Apr 2020 16:00:54
Like it Mark but don't give up the day job 😂😂😂 its nice to keep a sense of humour mind you as Villa fans its definitely a necessity.
14 Apr 2020 16:03:47
Also Dave we've still got a few months til we hear from Kingvilla again and links to David Selke 😠tho I still hear we're looking at Benni McCarthy 😂😂.
14 Apr 2020 16:09:51
In surgery for a heart attack, a middle aged woman has a vision of god by her bedside.
‘ will I die? ’, she asks
God says, ‘ no you have 30 more years to live’.
With 30 years to look forward to she decides to make the best of it.
Since she’s in hospital, she gets breast implants, liposuction, a tummy tuck, hair transplants and collagen injections in her hips. She looks great!
The day she’s discharged, she exists the hospital with a swagger, crosses the street and is immediately hit by an ambulance and killed.
Up in heaven, she sees God.
‘ You said I had 30 more years to live’ she complains
‘ That’s true’, says God
‘ So what happened? ’ she asks
God shrugs, ‘ I didn’t recognize you’.
14 Apr 2020 16:16:13
Well Moose, Benni would certainly give our U23s some hope hey.
14 Apr 2020 16:28:31
This is the last one, you’ll be pleased to know 😂
A priest, a minister, and a Rabbi want to see who’s best at his job. So they each go into the woods, find a bear and attempt to convert it.
Later they get together and the priest begins,
‘ when I found the bear, I read to him from the Catechism and sprinkled him with holy water, next week is his first communion’.
‘I found a bear by the stream’, says the minister, ‘and preached God’s holy word. The bear was so mesmerized that he let me baptize him. ’
They both look down at the Rabbi, who is lying on a gurney in a body cast,
‘ looking back’, he says, ‘maybe I shouldn’t have started with circumcision! ’.
14 Apr 2020 16:29:51
Would certainly bring the average age up 😂😂 probably get in the over 50s walking league team.
14 Apr 2020 16:35:49
Hahahaha, C'est un cracker Mark, love it.
14 Apr 2020 16:39:48
Classic ðŸ˜.
14 Apr 2020 16:51:18
Merci mes potes. 😂😂😂.