11 Apr 2020 14:37:52
Watching world cup rewind on BBC and I've thought "s##t! Jason statham is playing for Holland " then realised its concrete Ron Vlaar 😂😂😂the resemblance is uncannily. Wonder if he'd play like the Monk in goal? 🤔.
11 Apr 2020 15:16:09
If you think Vlaar looks like Jason Stathem, you should see my son, apart from his wallet he is Stathem to a tee.
Mind you our family always say Stathem looks like our son lol.
11 Apr 2020 15:28:53
If he has a habit of chauffeuring people about and does weird s##t with his jacket ie entangling arms then I'd be a bit suspicious Dave 😳.
11 Apr 2020 15:35:17
I was wondering, are you all wearing your masks over there which reminded me of something.
What do you call a Moose wearing a mask?
Ans: Anonymouse 😂.
11 Apr 2020 15:59:52
Love it Mark and no I'm not wearing a mask as I think people would freak out, a scream mask can be very frightening though I'm sure some would say my normal face would have that effect 😂😂.
11 Apr 2020 16:39:14
I expect you’ve heard this one before, but anyway I couldn’t resist it mate: This Scottish bloke goes on a skiing holiday in Canada.
After a day on the slopes he finds a nearby bar.
After 5 or 6 whiskies he notices a stuffed animal on the wall with antlers and he says to the barman,  « what the f### is that on the wall « The barman replies « it’s a moose «Â
and the Scotsman says « f### me how big are your cats «.
11 Apr 2020 16:43:04
Talking of masks, over here they’re selling chocolate rabbits for Easter, donning a white chocolate face mask.
11 Apr 2020 16:53:47
Be wary of the rabbits you don't want to get mixamytosis lol (not sure of correct spelling and predictive txt ain't helping) 😳.
11 Apr 2020 17:41:53
I love em all fellas, I could read them all day long.
That reminds me Mark, and you Moose, I am changing my optician, I called our usual optician, and he told me he could not "see" me, his eyes must be sh-t.
11 Apr 2020 18:38:53
I once told a girl I wouldn't be able to see her for a while she asked me why and I said I'm going to close my eyes for a bit.
11 Apr 2020 19:19:27
What do you call a fish that swims at the bottom of the sea pitching mermaids bums. Jack the kipper.
11 Apr 2020 19:02:43
Nice one Dave. Sort of staying on the Moose theme ;
On the 6th day God turned to his Archangel Gabriel and said,
God continued
asked Gabriel,
replied God, .
11 Apr 2020 20:16:02
Had a knock on the door the other day, opened it and there was a 6 foot cockroach on the doorstep it punched me in the face and told me to f##k off! I was really worried but apparently it was just a nasty bug going around.
11 Apr 2020 20:29:43
Why do the French enjoy eating snails so much?
because they can’t stand fast food.